The Dark Arts Review #6

Now that the Dark Arts has been credited with an oscar (Slumdog being the first film that i recommended) i can now recommend without impunity. The films will run from the pretentious to the incredibly bad. This week's entry could have been Extreme Movie, an anemic version of all those poor spoof movies, instead i spent bits of the weekend watching Under Siege.

Let's give it it's full billing. Steven Segal, Tommy Lee Jones and Gary "way too crazy" Busey. In a 1992 action film set on a us naval ship. The filmis directed by the guy who went on to do the Fugitive, a good film. First of all this film comes after the glut of 80s action films, Predator, Commando, Terminator, Rambo, Rocky. The studios thought 'hey all these guys are a little over the top. You know who would make an unlikely hero : a cook'. Yes the hero of this film is a cook. Segal apparently makes excellent bouillabaise and for dessert will whip up some death. How about the bad guys? Apparently Tommy Lee Jones is a washed up 60's hippy, turned soldier, that wants anarchy across the world. Never fully explained, instead we get more deaths. And im not complaining. Just wish i had an idea of why the bad guys were holding the ship (under seige).

Ahh the one thing that makes all blockbuster filmsof that time is the requisite boobie shot. And somehow on a ship with only men they managed to get a stripper on board. With pneumatic breasts. Jesus, early 90's fake boobs are scary. If we extrapolate that nuber that means that we have a bunch of late 30s early 40's women in california wlaking round with not so nice funbags.

Im a movie reviewer, not a social commentator, the film is good fun. I wouldnt suggest actually sitting down and watching it, do something else at the same time. You know, maybe read, knit or even look up flights to go california to meet some older ladies.

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